Lil Wayne Needs A Bathroom, Bad

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By Rob Markman

Lil Wayne has no shortage of dookie-inspired rhymes. On “Steady Mobbin’” he bragged, “Big house, long hallways, got 10 bathrooms, I can sh– all day” and on Tha Carter II’s “Money On My Mind” Weezy had some not-so-nice words for the commode when he spit, “Dear Mr. Toilet Bowl, I’m the sh–.”

Weezy has never been shy about detailing the movement of his bowels and while on the set of Birdman’s “Y.U. Mad” video last week, Wayne let it all out.

“My name Lil Wayne, my stomach hurts, I gotta sh– very bad,” he informed MTV News upon his arrival on set.

If on tour this wouldn’t have been much of a problem for the multiplatinum rap terror, but because his tour bus wasn’t available during Birdman’s shoot, Weezy F. was a tad concerned about doing the do. “We didn’t bring our buses out here, so we got these little video trailers,” Wayne explained as Baby laughed uncontrollably in the background. “I’m not really sure how their bathroom system works. I’ma have to test it out.”

It’s not that Wayne is squeamish about handling his business; he is just concerned for the people around him. “The thing is with your bathroom on the bus, you got your own bathroom in the room so I can sh– in the back… and they not gonna smell it in the front, but this trailer ain’t got all that so I’m sorry for the people on there,” he explained apologetically.

Birdman Jr. is a professional and rather than interrupt the video shoot to do a number two, he drank a cup of Sprite to calm his stomach. He even showed the camera the contents of his cup, it was just Sprite people.

So why was Wayne’s stomach all in knots? His personal chef is the culprit. “My chef he made this sweat tea, it was awesome, it tastes—it tasted better than a lot of girls,” Weezy explained. “The tea had a lot of sugar in it and I drunk like loads of it.”

Yup, that’ll do it. “I gotta drop the Cleveland Browns off at the Super Bowl,” Wayne said before going on his number 2 tour.