By Chris Yuscagave
Don’t front, you know you caught Bieber Fever when you saw the video of teen popstar (aka Shawty Mane!) dropping a hot 16 over Cam’ron and Vado‘s song “Speaking In Tungs” earlier this week. That passion, that intricate lyricism, that … hair!
OK, obviously we’re joking. Bieber’s lighthearted approach to the araabMUZIK-produced song and his laughable lyrics (“My new chick, she’s a yellow bone!”) didn’t exactly inspire much confidence in the teen’s chances of launching a rap career. However, it did leave us wondering what Bieb—ahem—Shawty Mane might sound like over a few other popular rap songs.
With that in mind, here’s a collection of hip-hop ditties that might “Shawty’s” sound. He’s already put himself out there, so why stop now?
When you see him freestyling over these beats sometime over the course of the next month, remember where you heard it first … and beware of the Bieber Fever!
The Song: “So Appalled” by Kanye West feat. Jay-Z, Pusha T, CyHi The Prince, RZA and Swizz Beatz
The Sample Lyrics: “I’m so appalled, so appalled by y’all/I freestyle for free, you make fun of me on your Facebook wall”
Let’s face it: Everyone sounded good on Kanye’s recent G.O.O.D. Friday posse cut. RZA grabbed the mic and talked all over the beat and even he sounded good! If Bieber sticks to the basic format of the song, we think he’ll avoiding appalling any of us, regardless of what he raps about.
The Song: “Start It Up” by Lloyd Banks feat. Kanye West, Swizz Beatz, Ryan Leslie and Fabolous
The Sample Lyrics: “My top down, I’m flashin’ on ‘em/Pull over, smile for the cameras, me and Kingston spazzin’ on ‘em”
Remember when Bieber got his driver’s license a couple months back and decided that picking up fellow teen singer Sean Kingston for an impromptu shopping spree in his brand-new Lambo would be the look? Well, now he can interject that experience right into a rap song! See how this works, kid?
We haven’t really been keeping tabs, but how big is Bieber’s buzz out in the Far East? Probably not as big as it is here in New York, huh? Well, by taking the Far East Movement’s current smash hit and dropping a hot 16 over it, he’s sure to fix that problem in no time. Pop those bottles!
The Song: “B.M.F. (Blowin’ Money Fast)” by Rick Ross feat. Styles P
The Sample Lyrics: “I think I’m Justin T, Nick Carter/No boy band, my solo stuff is harder/One nation, under God/Got your daughter screaming for me from the f–king start!”
Come on, dude: You can’t hop on the biggest street single of the summer and keep it PG-13. Man up and tell us that you’re the best teen pop star of all-time!
The Song: “Miss Me” by Drake, featuring Lil Wayne
The Sample Lyrics: “I love Selena Gomez, I told her I’d admit it/I hope one day we go to the movies, just to say that, yeah, we did it/And girl I’m really serious, I’m with it if you’re with it/I’ll even buy the popcorn and watch a chick f-li-ick”
Drizzy swirled up a bunch of controversy (and, in turn, got himself a bunch of extra publicity) by inserting a marriage proposal to Nicki Minaj into his latest single. If he wants, Bieber can do the same to catch the ear of fellow tween singer Selena Gomez. We’re just sayin’, Justin—chicks dig guys who name-drop them in songs.
The Song: “Fancy” by Drake
The Sample Lyrics: “I’m gettin’ ready, so you know I’m gon’ be here awhile/In the bathroom with a flat iron for my hair style”
Sometimes, we wonder how the hell you get your hair to do what it does. Like, does it take you an hour every morning? A half hour? Ten minutes? Oh, you fancy, huh? Shed some light on the subject, Bieb. The rest of the country is just dying to know!
The Song: “Who Dat” by J. Cole
The Sample Lyrics: “Who dat? Who dat? The kid that you been waitin’ for/I mean, the rap game was all bad just a week ago/Rap blogs is BSin’, F it, I ain’t hatin’ though/’Cause now Bieber Fever hot enough to mess with one of Satan’s flows”
Aren’t you mad at all the rap blogs taking shots at you? Don’t you want to show them that you’re serious about pursuing this rap thing? What are you waiting for?! Tell ‘em why you mad, son!
Had enough of the Bieber hair jokes yet? Yeah, yeah, us too! Sorry. Moving along…
The Song: “I Love College” by Asher Roth
The Sample Lyrics: “That party last night was awfully crazy, I wish we taped it/I had this one girl make me a cupcake and bake it/Drink my milk, eat my candy and all my friends were feeling fine and dandy”
Asher and Bieber were both discovered by the same guy, so it’s only right for Bieb to jump on his comrade’s first hit single, right? Party, party, party, let’s all get … well, let’s all have some good, clean, sober fun. How’s that sound?
It’s only right Shawty Mane and Gucci Mane get on a track together! The best part? We’re pretty sure Gucci wouldn’t be opposed to do an actual remix, either. It’s Bieber time!
What did you think of Justin Bieber’s rap? Are there any other songs you think he should freestyle over? Tweet us at @MTVRapFix or tell us in a comment below!